Out of Reach
by GoodTea
Summary: Lizzie feels awful, although she was so happy about going to college in the first place. Miranda doesn't understand why. She thinks it's because of the argument Lizzie and Gordo had before graduating high school. Lizzie hasn't revealed the truth yet, but she's aware of results, that hiding a truth causes. Especially from best friends. (AWFUL ENGLISH)


It was a beautiful day.

I was sitting on the outside stairs, in front of the house, which was surrounded by sea of flowers. The weather was boling hot but I saw trees moving by a chill little wind. I was thinking, it was probably my last summer here, in Hillridge. I mean – sure, I'll come back every year but I won't see fall or 'winter' here. I'll be way too far away.

I was waiting for Miranda coming back from her vacation in Mexico City. Also the last one. I enjoyed the see of the blue sky. Wind was playing with my hair. I didn't have any mp3 player with me, which was unusual of me, because I always have one. This time I just wanted to enjoy the moment. Listen to the birds' songs, children playing in the neighbour's garden.

I had been going to college, I should had been happy, right? That's what I had wanted since junior high. But I didn't like the fact I have to leave my city, my family just for what? For studying even more than now? Some people I might never see again. And yes, I had a particular person on my mind.

I missed him for two months. I just saw him a couple of times, on periods, in the cafeteria. I saw him as happy as he's never been before and then thought: _Is that how we were supposed to end up? Hating each other, pretending we've never existed, even as friends?_ The more times I saw him like that, the more conviced I was. But it didn't change my feelings at all.

_What feelings?_, I asked myself. And that was the point. I couldn't have answered this question then and still couldn't do it now. Anytime I tried to figure it out, it turned out I had bigger problems on my neck, like exams or tests for example. So I had been pretending it's all okay and continuing our messed up friendship. I couldn't have said anything to him, told any secrets or confided about boy problems. There weren't a lot of them, after all. Not that nobody was interested in me – just _I_ wasn't interested in anybody. I'm sure that was some kind of relief for him but I just had wanted to focus on school and hadn't got much time for boys.

Miranda was just the opposite – she had few boyfriends but no one of them was _for real_. My thought? She was a little bit into Larry Tudgeman. Yeah, funny, I know! Everyone at junior high had considered him as a geek, which only meant he'd been original and hadn't been looking for a social acceptance. But these are good qualities. I know that because I've learned from my best friend it's not important what people thin about you.

I noticed black van getting on the driveway and I stood up. I was very happy to see Miranda after two weeks of separation. She almost fall out of the car, wanting to hug me as soon as possible. She was so glad to see me she didn't want to let me go.

"What are you doing here?!", she asked, still happy.

"I wanted to make a surprise for you", I answered, smiling at her.

"Well, looks like I made a surprise for myself".

We laughed. She had long, dark her, perfect body and a twinkle in her eye. She had been getting prettier more and more.

Suddenly, she became sad and asked quietly:

"Have you talked to Gordo lately?"

I shook my head. _I wish I have_, I thought to myself.

Well, let me get this straight – Miranda was convinced we don't talkt because of this stupid arugment we had during the work on the school project two months ago. That's partly right. We had fought about this but it turned into full-of-grudge we held against each other, painful, difficult, personal fight. All unspoken words, unexpressed emotions came out from us and just explode, seeing a chance to show up in our little misunderstanding, wether the vulcano should be painted black or brown.

Anyway – sure, brown, isn't that obvious?!

"I can't believe he dumbed us because of such a silly reason", she said, shaking her head with disbelief. "I mean – we fought about more serious stuff and he wasn't even half as angry as he's now".

Miranda's duty wasn't to stop talking to him either, but she did it. She claimed if he was able to broke up our friendship because of such a trifle, he wasn't worth our time. She had a point. But she also didn't have a clue.

"Yeah, me too."

We decided to meet later – she was going to visit me and tell me all the details from her journey. Now, she had to unpack her stuff, take a shower after long ride and get a rest. I wished I would have a rest. My sad brain couldn't stop itself from sending me all memories I had with Gordo. It was just like my brain wanted me to die because of remorse.

When I got back home, I pulled out from under my bed an old photoalbum, the one I used to love looking over and the one I looked over when Gordo decided to move on up to high school. I still remember his words when we graduated junior high: _Don't worry. I'm not going anywhere_.

Sure, Gordo.


End file.
